Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful ways to honor someone who has passed away. While the task may feel overwhelming during a time of grief, creating a thoughtful tribute helps family and friends celebrate the person’s life and legacy. This guide will walk you through how to write an obituary that truly reflects your loved one’s story.

Understanding the Purpose of an Obituary

An obituary serves multiple important purposes. It announces the death of a person to the community, provides essential information about funeral or memorial service arrangements, and celebrates the life they lived. A good obituary captures the essence of who the person was—their interests, hobbies, accomplishments, and the relationships that mattered most.

Gathering Essential Information

Before you begin writing, collect the key details you’ll need. Start with basic information: the person’s full name, date of birth, date of death, and place of residence. You’ll also want to note the location and time of any service being held at the funeral home.

Next, gather information about surviving family members. This typically includes the spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, and sometimes extended family such as nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Many families also choose to mention close friends who were like family.

Step-by-Step: How to Write an Obituary

1. Start with the Announcement

Begin by stating the person’s full name and announcing their passing. Include their age, date of death, and place where they died. For example: “John Michael Smith, 78, of Springfield, passed away peacefully on March 15, 2025.”

2. Share Their Life Story

This is where you celebrate what made your loved one special. Include details about their birth, where they grew up, their education, career, and major life accomplishments. Don’t be afraid to include humor if it reflects their personality—obituaries don’t have to be somber to be respectful.

Mention their passions, hobbies, and interests. Did they love gardening, volunteering in the community, or spending time with grandchildren? These personal touches help readers understand who the person truly was.

3. List Family Members

Include surviving family members by name when possible. Start with the spouse, then children (and their spouses), grandchildren, siblings, and other relatives. You might write: “She is survived by her husband of 50 years, Robert; her children Sarah (Michael) Johnson and David Smith; five grandchildren; two sisters; and numerous nieces and nephews.”

If a family member preceded them in death, you can note this as well: “She was preceded in death by her parents and one brother.”

4. Include Service Information

Provide clear details about the funeral service or memorial service, including the date, time, and location. Include the funeral home name and address. If there will be a viewing or visitation, include those details as well.

5. Add Memorial Preferences

Many families request donations to a specific charity in lieu of flowers. If your loved one had a cause they cared about, this is a meaningful way to honor their memory. Include the organization’s name and how to make donations.

Tips for Writing Meaningful Obituaries

When learning how to write an obituary, remember that there’s no single correct format. Here are some helpful tips:

• Be authentic: Write in a way that reflects the person’s character and the family’s voice
• Include specific details: Mention favorite places, memorable quotes, or special achievements
• Consider your readers: Think about the community members and friends who will read this
• Take your time: Don’t rush the process—it’s okay to write multiple drafts
• Ask for help: Family members can contribute memories and information you might not have

What Makes a Good Obituary Stand Out

The most memorable obituaries paint a vivid picture of the person’s life. They go beyond just listing facts to tell a story. Consider including:

• A defining characteristic or personality trait
• A favorite saying or piece of wisdom they shared
• Their impact on the community or their profession
• Special relationships with grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or other loved ones
• Meaningful traditions or values they passed down to family

Working with Your Funeral Home

Most funeral homes have experience helping families write obituaries and can provide guidance throughout the process. They can also assist with submitting the obituary to newspapers and online platforms. Don’t hesitate to ask your funeral home staff for an example or template if you need a starting point.

The funeral home can also help you determine the appropriate length based on where the obituary will be published, as some newspapers charge by the word while online obituaries typically have more flexibility.

Honoring Your Loved One’s Memory

Writing an obituary during a time of loss is never easy, but it’s a final gift you can give to honor your loved one. Whether you’re writing about a spouse, parent, child, or other family member, take comfort in knowing that your words will help others remember and celebrate the life that was lived.

An obituary becomes part of your family’s permanent record—a document that future generations will read to learn about their ancestors. By taking the time to craft a thoughtful tribute, you’re preserving your loved one’s story and ensuring their memory lives on.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember that your funeral home is there to support you through every step of this process. They can offer condolence, guidance, and practical assistance as you navigate this difficult time.

The most important thing is that the obituary reflects the person you loved and the life they lived. There’s no perfect formula—just write from the heart, include the essential information, and celebrate what made them special.